Uit het partijprogramma van de PVV

(in hun eigen woorden) ‘Oplossingen’ in de categorie Veiligheid:

• Preventief fouilleren in het hele land • Heropvoedingskampen (Waar hebben we dat eerder gehoord?) • Etnische registratie van iedereen. Inclusief vermelding ‘Antilliaan’ (Oh ja, daar! Da’s toch ouderwets, dat deden ze in de jaren ’40 ook al.) • Falende leden van zittende en staande magistratuur weg (Geert neemt het niet zo nauw met de ‘trias politica’. Gek, want da’s toch een belangrijk onderdeel van ons aller geliefde Judeo-Christelijke democratie, nietwaar?) • Niet-Nederlanders die een misdrijf plegen direct uit Nederland verwijderen

‘Oplossingen’ in de categorie Islam (aka Buitenlanders):

• De islam is vooral een politieke ideologie en kan dus op geen enkele manier aanspraak maken op de voorrechten van een godsdienst (Interessante herdefiniëring, Geert. Is dat nou moeilijk, de Christen-fundies te vriend houden als alles wat je over de islam zegt ook op het Christendom van toepassing is, inclusief de passages over vrouwen-ongelijkheid enzo?) • Geen hoofddoekjes in de zorg, het onderwijs, het gemeentehuis of waar dan ook bij de overheid, en evenmin bij welke gesubsidieerde organisatie dan ook (Hoe zat dat ook alweer, Geert, met die mensen die vrouwen onderdrukken en voor hen bepalen wat ze wel en niet mogen dragen doen?) • Verbied de boerka en de koran, belast hoofddoekjes (Selectieve vrijheid van meningsuiting en drukpers! Typisch zo’n voorbeeld van de rijkdom van het Judeo-Christelijk gedachtegoed.) • Assimilatiecontracten. Niet tekenen of niet naleven = het land uit (Allemaal aan de waterstofperoxide, op straffe van deportatie!) • Voor vreemdelingen geldt: werken of wegwezen. Geen baan = geen plaats in Nederland (De ware betekenis van ‘arbeidsvoorwaarden’ wordt mij ineens duidelijk...) • Weg met procedurestapelen. Afgewezen = meteen weg (De IND is immers onfeilbaar, of niet dan?) • Inburgeringsexamen in het land van herkomst, tot het zover is: inburgeringscursus in Nederland niet gehaald, dan het land weer uit (Heb je het nou alweer over die waterstofperoxide, Geert? Oh, je gaat exporteren! Goed idee! Ongetwijfeld een lukratief handeltje.) • En vooral: volledige immigratiestop voor mensen uit islamitische landen Definitie van een islamitisch land volgens de Nederlandse regering: een land waarin meer dan 50% van de bevolking als moslim geregistreerd staat. Dus: Dag lieve Walid! Het was leuk getrouwd met je te zijn, maar nu mag het niet meer van Ome Geert. Sorry.

Heel veel meer heb ik er niet over te zeggen, al gaat die waanzin nog 45 pagina’s door. Kijk zelf maar, als je het aankunt...

Lebanon and the World Cup, explained

Remember when I told you about the dancing that Lebanese people like? And the football they go crazy for? Well, today I found out why they don’t have their own team to participate in the world cup…

The best of both passions, really! May it be a fun tournament. Cheers to the world… and let’s hope the Italians won’t win!

Meanwhile, at Sea...

'All morning, Mark Regev, the Israeli spokesman, has been on television speaking about the flotilla’s “political nature,” stressing that it was political action, not humanitarian. This is really talking point, since of course it’s a political act: both enacting a blockade and attempting to break it are political acts. […]'

From The Human Province, ‘Murder on the Mediterranean’ 'Israel for a long time has treated Gazans as animals that ought to be kept alive because Israelis are not cruel to animals. The Israelis will recite the daily totals of humanitarian aid that they let in (which, of course, they don't pay a penny for.) The jailer considers himself a "humanitarian" if he lets the inmates eat. So, as animals, the Gazans are allowed to eat. But humans need more than food in order to be human.'

From The Magnes Zionist, ‘The Attack on the Free Gaza Flotilla’.

On Iranian Order and Precision

If anything shouldn’t have surprised me, it would be how incredibly well-organized Iran was. After all, it’s what the Lebanese only half-jokingly say is proof that Hezbollah is Iranian: they are more structured and punctual than any Lebanese could ever be! And yet it did surprise me that it was so organized. Such a big country, so immense, with so many people, and with (from what I heard) such a bad economy? I would have excused them for having holes in the road, or electricity cuts. But none of that was the case. Even on the day we took what was marked on the map as a ‘small mountain road’, the car rolled smoothly over tight tarmac, kilometer after kilometer. Like this:

mountainroad

And not only that. The buses actually followed timetables, and people were aware of those. Smoking was forbidden in bars and other public buildings. There were public toilets almost everywhere, and drinking water fountains in every mosque, palace and station we visited. There were even places to charge your cell-phone, in case you forgot to do so before leaving for the mountain-park from which to watch over the city of Isfahan…

chargers-2

… or before getting on a plane. On long busrides, the bus would make a stop at a roadside restaurant for lunch, but on shorter trips we were often given a little lunch-box, complete with a cup for water or juice (also handed out) and a napkin:

buslunch

On the train, this whole ‘taking care of passengers’ was taken to the next level when we found we not only had a pretty blue pillow and blanket with flowers, but we were also handed fresh sheets and pillowcases! Considering that this was the cheapest ticket (9 Euros for ± 500kms.), we were pleasantly surprised – even more so when the next morning, just minutes before arrival, we were handed a chocolate cake and a little juice-box for breakfast. 

And the subway? That was simply amazing. Faster and cleaner than I’ve ever seen before (except maybe in Barcelona, but that was years ago, so my memory might fool me here).

metro

(The only problem was actually getting on the subway-cars, because with around 8 million people in the capital, those were almost always packed like tuna-cans. This picture was taken at one of the last stations on line 1, the first time we actually saw the floors…).

However, it wasn’t only the organization and structure I admired in Iran. It was the precision. Whenever we were lost, all I had to do was look at my cell-phone to know the name of the nearest landmark or a main avenue or expressway close-by:

cellphone-flat

Of course I saved the best for last: quite possibly the most precision-oriented can of soda I have ever seen in my life. Behold the honesty on a can of Coca-Cola, made in Iran:

kokakola

We have tried to put 330ml in this can, but it could be 8.25ml more or less... and to think we consider ourselves nitpicky and precise here in Holland!

What a honeymoon!

We’re back from Iran, and the question ‘how was it?’ is very hard to answer. It was big. It was beautiful. It was historical and ornamented and elegantly decorated. It was sandy, and rocky. It was crowded and polluted. It was tacky and vegetarian-unfriendly and sweet. Hospitable. Hot. Organized. Amazingly friendly.

It was everything I expected it to be. And also oddly familiar.

Pictures will be at qussa.wordpress.com, stories will follow in the days to come…

For now: 39 Seconds of Tehran (taken from our hotelroom):