I think my cats are going to hell

A few days ago the fifteen year-old sister of a friend told me about her cat, a little white fluffy female. ‘We used to have two,’ she said, ‘but then they got married, so we had to give away her husband because we didn’t want any more baby cats.’

I thought it was cute and typical teenager-like of her to be too shy to mention words like sex or mating in front of her older sister’s friend. Today, however, a grown-up guy asked me about our two cats, and upon hearing that one is female and the other one male, he asked in all seriousness:

‘So have they married yet?’ No they haven’t, because I didn’t know the authority of the Church extends into the animal kingdom... Luckily we’ve had the little guy neutered, otherwise we’d have plenty of kittens born out of wedlock.