So many mothers

On the occasion of Mother’s Day, today in Lebanon. Although I was born and raised by one amazing woman, in the Netherlands, in the past 29 years I’ve had so many more mothers, all over the world… There was an Alsacienne, the mother who made me feel at home in my French host-family when I went to school in Paris and who taught me a gazillion tricks to save water; there was the Kenyan nurse who appointed herself my African mother, who let me stay at her house when the friend I came to visit was away from the hospital for a few days and who taught me how to eat with my hands; and there was the South African lady who called me her daughter and taught me about racism and occupation.

When I went to Lebanon, again I found myself in the welcome embrace of so many wonderful women, all being a mother for me in one way or another. They made me feel at home by treating me as one of their children, which meant I was taken up in the stream of endless comments about when to get married and to whom (what’s his background? where is he from?) and an equally endless stream of amazing food, always with enough leftovers to take home and feed me for another week. It also meant late-night conversations about what to do in life, shelter during the war, career advice and unexpected birthday cakes, and so much more.

However, having a Lebanese mother (or several) comes with a heavy responsibility, and I knew this from my Lebanese friends and their mothers: those who live abroad are expected to call their mother often, very often, and those who live in Lebanon are supposed to pop by regularly to say hello and eat some of the delicious food that is inevitably waiting. I, on the other hand, am used to one, long, weekly phone call with my parents in the Netherlands, and would feel incredibly obtrusive for passing by more than once every two or three weeks. And that’s where I continuously fail as a ‘Lebanese daughter’, and get messages from my friends along the lines of “my mom is disappointed in you, you don’t call often enough” and “you should pass by my parents some day soon, they would love to see you. No really, I mean it. SOON.”

Dear Lebanese mothers: I apologize for my modest Dutch behavior; I will try to pass by more often.

Happy Mother’s Day to you all!

Feminism, Southern Lebanese Shi’a style

Grand Ayatollah Mohammad Hussein Fadlallah, the highest Shi’a authority in Lebanon, has issued a new fatwa. Often concerned with equality between men and women, this time he spoke out on the issue of domestic violence: his newest fatwa 'supports the right of a woman to defend herself against any act of violence, whether social or physical.' Quite literally, he said that any woman has the right to beat up her husband if the husband physically abuses her.

Now if that’s not typical Southern Lebanese resistance, I don’t know what is…

An interesting interview with Fadlallah can be found here. (Hat-tip to Abu Muqawama)

Maybe I SHOULD have asked her ‘yes, what then?’

Recently I interviewed a teacher from a religious school in a predominantly Christian region of the country. She told me how she was there to enlighten the children, to raise awareness and stimulate critical thinking. Then she told me about a situation where one of her students refused to join in the class-discussion about a specific topic, and how the next day, both parents of the student came to school to talk to the administration about the ‘incident.’ Influential parents, they were, and of course the teacher was called into the meeting to justify her behavior.

‘So there I was,’ she said, ‘in front of these two parents, but I refused to take it. I reprimanded the student for resorting to higher powers, right in front of them. You know, we are all Christians here – but what if they had been Muslim?’

Closed Zone

Gisha - Legal Center for Freedom of Movement calls on the State of Israel to fully open Gaza's crossings and to allow the real victims of the closure - 1.5 million human beings - the freedom of movement necessary to realize their dreams and aspirations.

For more information visit their website: Closed Zone
(Thanks to Lenie for sending me this.)

I think my cats are going to hell

A few days ago the fifteen year-old sister of a friend told me about her cat, a little white fluffy female. ‘We used to have two,’ she said, ‘but then they got married, so we had to give away her husband because we didn’t want any more baby cats.’

I thought it was cute and typical teenager-like of her to be too shy to mention words like sex or mating in front of her older sister’s friend. Today, however, a grown-up guy asked me about our two cats, and upon hearing that one is female and the other one male, he asked in all seriousness:

‘So have they married yet?’ No they haven’t, because I didn’t know the authority of the Church extends into the animal kingdom... Luckily we’ve had the little guy neutered, otherwise we’d have plenty of kittens born out of wedlock.