Qussa

Stories from Afar & Up Close

Filtering by Category: Life

That Moment

When I move somewhere for a longer period of time, one of the first things I usually do is get myself a bicycle. Nothing says ‘home’ to me as much as having a two-wheeler at my disposal, a means of transportation that makes me feel free to go anywhere I want to. In New York City, I took over a little gray All Terrain Bike that was slightly too small for me. It cost me $25 as I picked it up from Spanish Harlem with a flat tire. It was the lock that emptied my wallet; four times more expensive than the bike itself.

For one year, that bike and me were inseparable. I rode it to class, I rode it to visit the boroughs, and I rode it during the demonstrations at the Democratic Convention (2004) when suddenly the police blocked all the roads and made lower Manhattan a no-go zone for cyclists. My roommates didn’t quite understand that my bicycle was my mode of transport rather than a work-out accessory, and they also had difficulty grasping the concept of biking in a skirt. (I dare to state that any Dutch woman knows how to ride wearing a skirt, but they didn’t know that, so to them I was merely eccentric.)

The bike as a way to get around in the city also proved hard to explain in Beirut. The mountain-bike I bought in early 2006 was used maybe three times until I started realizing that it was not appreciated if I showed up somewhere drenched in sweat (inevitable, in Lebanese summer and traffic). I also became aware of the attraction me and my bicycle formed when a complete stranger asked me one day if I would like to join their bike-for-peace ride – I was the local ‘bike-girl’, after all. Until a month ago, when a Syrian worker in Hamra became the happy new owner, the yellow & blue bicycle has been gathering dust on our rooftop terrace.

Now I am back in the Netherlands, back to bicycle country. It took me two weeks, but my old bike is restored to its former glory and I just rode it to my parents’ house in the village. I had almost forgotten how good it feels – the speed, the wind, the freedom. I had also forgotten that in this country, rain is inevitable. And that rain + bike = wet. I came back home with puddles in my shoes, dripping hair and all the clothes on my body completely soaked with water.

But I loved the ride, because it reminded me of That Moment: the moment you realize that no matter how fast you go, no matter how hard you push those pedals, there is no way you will arrive to your destination in a presentable manner. You KNOW you will be drenched, soaked, dripping wet; you KNOW that turning around won’t help you, nor will finding shelter because you KNOW the rain won’t let up for the foreseeable future. So all you can do is throw your head in the wind and enjoy the freshness of the rain… and the hot cup of tea next to the heater when you get there.

Het is maar wat je raar vindt

Ik heb een oom die hier in Utrecht woont.Ik ben nog nooit bij hem thuis geweest. Het is zo’n alleen-oom, weet je wel, ik bedoel, hij heeft geen vrouw ofzo, en geen vrienden. Hij woont in z’n eentje op zo’n flatje. Hij heeft ook geen rijbewijs, als hij bij ons komt, komt hij altijd met de trein. Best een rare oom eigenlijk.

... vertelde ze haar vriendinnen in de trein van Utrecht naar Den Bosch, maandagavond, terwijl aan de andere kant van het gangpad twee dronken corps-ballen een parodie van zichzelf zaten te wezen.

Like Everyone Else (Bye-Bye Beirut)

WHAT I WILL NOT BE MISSING- The daily electricity cuts - The honking cars - The clouds of cigarette-smoke in bars and restaurants - The chaos - The homophobia - The honking cars - The screaming of ‘Taxi! Taxi!’ when I walk by - The unbelievably slow internet-connections - The racism - The roofs that are not built to prevent rain from entering the house - The construction rage - The speculation about ‘when will the next civil war start’ - The honking cars

WHAT I WILL BE MISSING - The mountains - Falafel from Sahyoun - The Corniche - The golden numbers - The chaos - The ease of dance - The view of the sunset over the Mediterranean from my rooftop-terrace - Grilled halloum - (The Stooges) - Last-minute outings with friends - Mothers with inexplicable amounts of food ready in the fridge any time you pass by - The beach-road - Sneaking into old abandoned buildings of beautiful architecture - Driving around aimlessly in the North and South - The carrot-sticks in lemon juice with salt - Hamra - Bikers riding on their back-wheel at full speed on the highway to impress the girls - Street-cats - Genuine hospitality, always

WHAT MY FRIEND SAID “Oh my, you’re so Lebanese now. You leave the country to work abroad and you will come back to visit us for Christmas and in summer! Your transformation is complete!”

WHAT’S REALLY HAPPENING (in the next two years) My husband has to finish his PhD at the University of Amsterdam and I am going back with him. (Incidentally, we’re still looking for a house in Amsterdam – if you know of a house for us to (sub)let, please let me know! We’re very cute tenants, you know.)

AND THE CATS?!? In an ironic twist of fate, it is easier for two Lebanese cats to get permission to come to The Netherlands than it is for a human being – but it does mean they came with us, and will now eat Gouda instead of labneh for breakfast. Just like us.

WHAT ABOUT QUSSA.NL? Qussa.nl will be here, with stories and anecdotes from life on- and offline. (Most of them probably not from Lebanon, though, for the time being.) But you’re welcome to keep coming back.

Opa

De opa die onder de Ottomaanse bezetting leefde, de Franse en Israelische bezetters zag komen en gaan, en een ontelbaar aantal oorlogen overleefdeDe opa die elke ochtend vroeg door de stad wandelde om de ingrediënten voor de lunch te halen De opa die zes kinderen grootbracht met een sterk geloof maar zonder de dwang van religie De opa die de kippen voerde met de restjes van oma’s eten, voor extra lekkere eieren De opa die de helft van de stad van onderwijs voorzag als directeur van de openbare basisschool De opa die van alle twaalf de kleinkinderen precies wist waar ze van hielden en waar ze mee bezig waren De opa die de aanstaande van zijn kleinzoon een jaar lang op de proef stelde in het Arabisch, om haar vervolgens goed te keuren en zonder verdere plichtplegingen in zijn armen te sluiten De opa die verkeerd geparkeerde auto’s voor de deur zonder pardon van een lik zwarte verf voorzag De opa die mij grappend Walide noemde omdat Nicolien zo lastig is, maar wel altijd eerst naar mijn wederwaardigheden vroeg en dan naar die van Walid De opa die verantwoordelijk was voor de groei en distributie van citroenen, sinaasappels, en olijfolie voor de hele familie De opa die lak had aan regels en geboden als die er niet toe leidden dat iemand zich als een ‘goed mens’ gedroeg De opa die er ondanks de pijn op stond de aanstaande schoonouders van zijn kleinzoon te ontmoeten De opa die populair was bij de dames van Nabatiyeh niet vanwege zijn charmes, maar vanwege zijn overtuiging dat mannen en vrouwen gelijk zijn De opa die vanuit bed zijn zegening gaf aan het huwelijk van zijn kleinzoon vorige maand De opa van wie niemand nou precies wist of hij 94 of 97 jaar oud was

Die opa is niet meer.

Rust zacht, Ahmed Mohammad Jaber, Abou Wassim.