Friday-afternoon entertainment

I know it's old, and it has made the rounds by email and on facebook, but it's just such a hilarious song...

Recorded in 1978 in Kuwait by the Bendaly family from Lebanon. Enjoy!

Overheard in Beirut

THE WILD WILD NORTH OF LEBANON Guy from Tripoli, smoking a cigarette

Biology student from AUB: Smoking kills

Guy from Tripoli: I’m from Tripoli, you really think that’s what’s going to kill me?

What to do with two cows

SOCIALISM:You have 2 cows; you have to give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

LEBANON SYSTEM: You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by the government.

EGYPT SYSTEM: You have two cows. Both vote for Mubarak.

DUBAI SYSTEM: You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a ' Cow City ' or ' Milk Village ' for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to re-sell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract media attention.

SHARJAH SYSTEM: You have two cows. You sell them to an investor in Dubai. The cows get stuck in traffic between Sharjah to Dubai and die. You have zero cows now.

SAUDI ARABIA SYSTEM: You have two cows. So what? You have Oil.

(Thanks to Lina for sending me this!)

Ondertussen, zo’n 200 kilometer verderop...

Vandaag is het Hariri-Tribunaal begonnen in Den Haag (of, om precies te zijn, Leidschendam). Het is te hopen dat de rechters, advocaten en aanklagers een betere topografische kennis van Nederland hebben dan de journalisten die vanuit Libanon zijn overgekomen om de verslaglegging te verzorgen:

Dat vierkante tekstwolkje zegt ‘La Haye’: Den Haag. De laatste keer dat ik in Nederland was, heette die stad nog Maastricht...

Five minutes of fame

The last time I flew to Lebanon, in December last year, I was seated next to two Southern Lebanese men who were living in Switzerland. As usual, to conversation went from what do you do in Lebanon to what do you think of Lebanon to wow, you’re almost Lebanese! When they discovered I had spent most of the July War in 2006 in Lebanon, one of them took a closer look and said: ‘I think I know you. Have you been on TV?’ I laughed. Yeah, of course, I’m a famous international TV-personality. Ehm, what? I said. I don’t think so. ‘Yes, I’m sure I’ve seen you on Manar, it was something with Imad Moghnieh.’ Then I remembered. Last year I visited an exhibition about Imad Moghnieh, organized by Hezbollah, and had been asked a couple of questions by a camera crew of Al Manar, the TV channel operated by Hezbollah. They said it was for a documentary about the exhibition, but apparently it had been on TV. And this man, all the way in Switzerland, had seen me and now recognized me. I was famous in South Lebanon and its Diaspora!

And it doesn’t stop there. My post about the helpful Zghartans has been picked up by local news site, and they are now wondering who is this woman?

It seems my Lebanese star is still rising… and all Zghartans are welcome for a cup of coffee!