"Sometimes you have to live in precarious and temporary places. Unsuitable places. Wrong places. Sometimes the safe place won't help you.
    Why did I leave home when I was sixteen? It was one of those important choices that will change the rest of your life. When I look back it feels like I was at the borders of common sense, and the sensible thing to do would have been to keep quiet, keep going, learn to lie better and leave later.
    I have noticed that doing the sensible thing is only a good idea when the decision is quite small. For the life-changing things, you must risk it.
    And here is the shock – when you risk it, when you do the right thing, when you arrive at the borders of common sense and cross into unknown territory, leaving behind you all the familiar smells and lights, then you do not experience great joy and huge energy.
    You are unhappy. Things get worse.
    It is a time of mourning. Loss. Fear. We bullet through ourselves with questions. And then we feel shot and wounded.
    And then all the cowards come out and say, 'See, I told you so.'
    In fact, they told you nothing."

- Jeanette Winterson, Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal (page 63-64)

Zeker twintig doden bij aanslag in woonwijk Beiroet

Omdat ik me zo erger aan de tendentieuze berichtgeving in NRC: een gecorrigeerde versie van het stuk "Zeker twintig doden bij aanslag in Beiroet op Hezbollah-bolwerk"

Buitenland (15 augustus 2013)–  door [Jules Seegers] correcties door Nicolien

Een aanslag vandaag in Beiroet, waarbij volgens autoriteiten twintig burgerdoden zijn gevallen, is [gepleegd] gericht tegen Hezbollah. De [militante] shi'itische groepering was doelwit van de sunnitische beweging Brigades van Aisha.

De groepering eiste de aanslag vroeg in de avond op. Volgens Reuters belooft ze nog meer aanvallen op Hezbollah.

"Dit is de tweede keer dat wij bepalen waar en wanneer de strijd plaatsvindt... En jullie zullen dat nog vaker zien, als God het wil."

Vorige maand werd in een [buitenwijk] andere woonwijk van Beiroet een autobom tot ontploffing gebracht waarbij meer dan vijftig mensen gewond raakten. De ontploffing vandaag in de overwegend shi'itische wijk Rweiss had plaats in een drukke winkelstraat en was in de wijde omgeving te voelen, aldus ooggetuigen. Op de staatstelevisie was te zien hoe er grote branden in de getroffen straat woedden. Boven Rweiss stegen grote zwarte rookwolken op.

Zeker tweehonderd gewonden

Reuters meldt dat het dodental van de aanslag is opgelopen tot twintig. De explosie vond plaats in het zuiden van Beiroet, een [bolwerk van Libanons terreurbeweging Hezbollah] woonwijk waar veel aanhangers van Hezbollah wonen, een Libanese politieke partij met een gewapende tak die onlangs door de EU als terreurbeweging is aangemerkt. Volgens AP vielen ook zeker tweehonderd gewonden.

Volgens het Libanese leger werd een autobom gebruikt voor de aanslag. Diverse [gebouwen] woningen en flatgebouwen in de directe omgeving raakten zwaar beschadigd.

Het oplopende geweld in Libanon kan een teken zijn dat de sektarische burgeroorlog in buurland Syrië verder om zich heen grijpt in de regio. Tegenstanders van de Syrische president Bashar al-Assad hebben gedreigd met aanvallen op Hezbollah, dat in Syrië met [Assads troepen] het Syrische leger meevecht.

Home, unnoticed

Coming to Beirut is coming home. Not coming home in a metaphorical or existential sense of 'finally having found a place where I belong' – if anything, Beirut is the slut that makes everybody and nobody feel like she is theirs.

No, Beirut has become home in the way that a hometown is and always will be home: I walk the streets and pass places that I never actively remember when I am not here, but that are part of some kind of physical knowledge, my legs functioning like my fingers that can remember how to play something on the piano as long as my brain doesn't get involved.

Beirut is home because I have memories everywhere, but they, too, are more felt than remembered, not verbalized even in my head.

I've seen places disappear and new places come up, and some of those I've seen disappear as well. It's home because I see it and I don't see it at the same time, the initial place always dominating that location without the shock that it has become something else because I have changed with this city and we both know that all those old things are still inside us as well.

Beirut is home because I am no longer surprised by her.

Beirut is home because I don't notice her anymore.

“I just think life is meaningless altogether, most of the time. Yes, there is beauty in the moment, but beyond that? People come and go and you can never count on anyone, and life is just life; a mystery, and ultimately meaningless. The meaning is in the creation, and the creation is a human construct; and people just make up stuff in order to get through life.”

— René Vernor (via hellanne)

Life

Yesterday my bike-key broke in the lock and i took the bus in the wrong direction. Didn't have the phone number of my school to tell them i was going to be late. Today my train was delayed and my other bike had a flat tire. Walking back to the station i passed an old lady who almost started crying when i asked her what was wrong. "I locked myself out of my car and the engine is still running. I can try to walk home but then i have to ask someone to break into my house to find the other keys and i don't know if anyone will be around." I tried to find a way to open the doors of the little car but couldn't, so i called the police for her.

She thanked me a million times, hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. "I'm just not very good at life these days," she said.

Do I ever know what you mean, dear lady.